I think the reason I loathe London so much is because it smacks the fundamental mediocrity of humanity right in your face; there is simply no escaping it. The bottom line is that most people are mediocre, they really don't exist as thinking, self-aware creatures at all. They suck up the shit dished out by their parents, the tabloids and television and never have a thought in their lives. I don't mean this in any Nietzschean Ubermensch crappy way, as I, too, am a mediocre, loathsome, self-serving, morally delinquent specimen, but merely as a sad statement of inescapable truth. Living here would have extinguished any notions I ever had about humanity if they hadn't all died a long time ago, but even then, to come and live here in the midst of the flood is something else altogether. I think that's why my fundamental feeling these days is a great lassitude and weariness. Humanity is going nowhere and accomplishing nothing; it's just pigs in a trough, and that's being unfair on pigs, who are very clean animals.
On Monday, circumstances forced me into taking refuge in one of those awful 'Pret a Manger' chain cafes. I tried to stick it out, but the awful food, the vapid music and the fake cheeriness of the staff inspired a desire to commit a Brevik-style massacre, so I ran out into the rain. That evening, while waiting for a Tube in one of the blandest of the bland London suburbs, I felt close to fainting, such was the nausea induced by exhaustion and the endless crowds of joyless, stone faced people all crammed on to the Auschwitz cattle-cars that are the Underground.
A lot of my more 'optimistic' friends are those who still live in small places, all frustrated and dreaming that 'civilisation' and 'culture' inhere in the big cities. Some even think I am 'living the dream'. I try to disabuse them, but to no avail.
There you are: humanity sucks!